SNOW.

I've been back for six months now, and it still shocks me to remember how long it's been and how long I've been away... I'm starting to forget things. I haven't forgotten the German winter, though, and I truly don't miss it. These are the three adjectives that describe a German winter.
1) COLD.
2) Icy.
3) Dark.
Okay, so it's still cold and icy and dark, but it's not COLD (except sometimes) and we have well over two feet of snow on the ground, and it's not getting dark until 5:30 (whoa!). Plus we're expecting an almost-blizzard for the next 48 hours involving ice pellets, heavy snow and 18-24 inches of accumulation. For the season, we've already had 4 snow days and 2 two-hour delays, and it's not even February. My guess is that we'll have another two snow days this week alone. This is getting ridiculous. But hey, I'm not complaining... last year I had to bike to school. Actually last year I had to get up at 6:15 and walk down to sweep chimneys. I suppose this is somewhat of an improvement... although I really am not a fan of my schedule at the moment (AP Biology, AP US History, Honors Precalculus, and a class at Smith) just homework-wise. Although we did just have a massive unit test in Bio so I'm starting fresh in all my classes. That will be nice, I think. And the next two days of snow and (hopefully) no school will help me recuperate from today's hard schedule of... 45 minute classes. (The final on Thursday was pushed to this morning due to the delay... so we had a 2-hour test and jumped right into our semester 2 classes of 45 minutes each. Lame.)

Enjoy the snow! (And ice pellets...?)

Going home.

In less than 24 hours, I'll be on a train out of here. I found my passport (in a small pocket of my backpack- I thought it was so smart to put it there until I forgot) and my train ticket (in my old journal- I was still using it often when I put the ticket and papers in it, and then switched journals and forgot about it). So, all panic aside, I still have to manage to fit everything... my overstuffed duffel bag weighs in at 19,5 kilos, so I'm good on that (max weight is 23) and my backpack can go up to 20 but I've only got 10 because I'm really bad at squishing things. I have a small cardboard box filled with random stuff- notebooks, american money, pictures, cds... and I have to find a place for it all or send YET ANOTHER package home. I'm really hoping I don't have to do that. I have faith in my packing skills. I think. I hope.

Other than packing, it's really weird to be going back... to be leaving... VERY weird. I can't really even describe how I feel. I'm leaving the people who I've lived with for a year, and going back to people I've lived with for 16 years but haven't seen in such a long time. Who knows when I'll see my German family again, who knows when I'll get a chance to come back here. It makes me feel empty inside when I think about it, so instead I focus on packing and everything is well.

Winding down...

In sixteen days I'll be on a plane. Out of Deutschland. For who knows how long.

I'm not particularly sad. I'm also not particularly happy. I'm so excited to see my friends and family again, but to know that this year is coming to an end and I will never be able to live the same way again is very strange. I'm already packing all my stuff because my host brother comes home from his AFS year in Tennessee in a few days, and I'm in his room. I'm planning to have all my stuff packed by Friday so I can move into my older host sister's room- she actually comes back home on the day I leave, so the timing works out perfectly. But thinking about goodbyes is so hard, because I don't know what to do- these people have taken me into their house for ten months, and now I'm packing my bags and leave, and it could be many years before I return. Even if I do, it'll all be different. I'll be older, they'll be older, and we'll have lived apart for a long time. I won't be a part of the household anymore. And that is just odd to consider.

Other things:
-today is the first day since End-of-Stay Camp (June 9-13) that I haven't needed a sweatshirt to go outside. Hello? It's summer! Where's the summer weather?
-next Monday my class is heading off to Holland for a 4-night Klassenfahrt, or class trip. We'll be spending a day in Amsterdam, and I'm quite excited.
-I got next year's class schedule- future exchange students, if you're doing your year as a junior, watch out. Your senior year is going to be KILLER. (Okay, well, it is in my case.)

Okay, gotta go pack now... Daniela bought me two bier steins, which was very nice of course, but how on earth am I supposed to pack them? Sheesh...

Juni und Jammern

"And what is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days; Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune, And over it softly her warm ear lays." -James Russell Lowell

Well, apparently Mr. Lowell didn't spend much time in Berlin in June... it's the first day of June and barely scraping over 50°, and it's poured every day for a week. I keep forgetting it's already spring because it's so darn chilly, and then I remember that SUMMER is in TWENTY DAYS. Now that's exciting.

We also got our travel information from AFS Germany... flying out of Frankfurt-am-Main at 12:20 on the 9th of July! I think the three Berlin Americans and I are taking the train on the 8th so we don't have to get up at 2 a.m. the next day. I'm pretty darn pumped, myself. I'll miss Germany, but I'm quite excited to get on with the next chapter of my life (aka summertime.)

Also, as for the title, "Juni" is German for June and "jammern" means to complain or lament. Which I've been doing a lot of lately- about 99% being aimed at the weather. I think we're supposed to see a few minutes of sun this weekend, though. So I'm hopeful that I can stop jammering soon.

a good quote

"To succeed in life, you need 3 things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone." -Reba McEntire

SAT

I am taking the German SAT subject test in 10 days. My head is currently whirling with coordinating conjunctions, subjunctive moods, and auxiliary verbs... not to mention I'm trying to shove as much vocabulary in as I possibly can. So I apologize for my slight lack of communication... between June 5th and June 9th I'll get on that! And then I'll be gone again for our AFS END OF STAY camp. That means we're almost at the end. I believe the current count is 44 days. Holy guacamole!!

And we're off!

Tomorrow, at 10:10 am (promptly- we are in Germany, you know), I am leaving on a flight to France! Well, actually a flight to Frankfurt am Main, and then a flight to Toulouse, Frankreich. It's only a one-hour layover, though. And then I'll be spending four days in the lovely south of France! I am quite excited, and all my stuff is packed (I'm guessing I overpacked like usual) and I'm prepared to leave the house at 7 am (yippee...) to take various buses and UBahns to the airport.

I'm looking forward to:
-seeing a new country
-meeting new people
-eating French pastries and various other delicacies
-relaxing
-sleeping
-relaxing

I'm not so much looking forward to:
-cheese

(My uncle thinks I'm crazy that I'm going to France and I don't like cheese.)
There will be much Frenchness to come, I'm sure! Tschuss! Bonjour! Arrivaderci! Ciao! Goodbye!

Kiss Kiss

Our favorite American smooch...



and its German equivalent.

Gesundheit

It's a German word ("Healthiness"). You'd think the Germans would use it. I'm pretty sure I've heard about a total of ten Gesundheits the entire time I've been here. In America, if you sneeze in class, you'll often get about 10 "bless yous", including from the teacher. In Germany, I think sneezes are treated more like coughs- just kind of ignored. Although apparently (I have not experienced this for myself but have heard it from other exchange students) if you sneeze three times in a row you get to make a wish. Now I'm shuffling my feet on the carpet trying to get enough dust to rise that I'll sneeze three times.

EGH

DDR-Ville. Ost Deutschland. East Germany. Or, as our group of CBYXers have coined it, the East German Hood, or EGH. While I technically live in the former West Germany, I am probably only a few feet from the border. It's pretty hard to tell in the middle of Berlin at this point where the border was unless you look down and see a piece of Wall- a lot of East Berlin has been rebuilt and westernized. However, in what the Americans call the ghetto of Germany, there are groups of young guys who hang around in groups smoking Paul Malls and wearing what they think is gangsta gear. A typical outfit consists of the following: a white fake trucker hat, a plain white jacket, holey white jeans, shiny adidas sneakers, and a fanny pack. The Fanny Pack is essential. The Fanny Pack is where the kids of the EGH store their cigarette-rolling materials. They've got the filters, which they'll hold between their lips while they peel off a paper and pick a bit of tobacco out between their index finger and thumb. Then they'll spread it out all nice and evenly and lick the paper like an envelope to roll it all up into what they consider the coolest G thang ever. And the Americans sit by and watch, trying not to burst into (completely socially inappropriate) hysterical laughter. The G-wannabes swagger out of the S-Bahn, light their cigs with hot pink lighters (stored in the back pocket of their Fanny Packs) and toss their heads at each other in what they think is a gangster nod. And I nod back. Because they make my day every time I see them.

Oranienburger Straße

We've heard stories about this street. This street is the place to go if you're looking for SDA- Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol. It's where the bars and clubs are, it's where the shisha (hookah) dens are, and it's where the hookers are. This is what we've been told by our liasons and friends. And yet I have eaten in various restaurants all down the street, walked along it in daytime and at night, and it's never seemed any different than any other German street. Yesterday, a couple Americans and I were walking out of the U-Bahn in search for a little post-dinner kick. Immediately after we emerged from the smoky underground, Claire whacks me repeatedly on the arm, whispering excitedly, "prostitute! Prostitute!" I turn my head to see a woman wearing a white hoodie over a corset, jean shorts that consisted of less fabric than my underwear, and bright pink go-go boots. We had barely expressed our excitement and amazement at seeing one prostitute when I punch Claire- "there's another one!!" And so there was. In fact, in the entire short length of the street, we saw six different prostitutes, all of which completely fit the foggy picture of hookers we'd had in our inexperienced American minds. It was ridiculous. We lived off the craziness for the whole night, and after observing several sketch bars from the outside, we went looking in the more open and public vicinity of Friedrichstraße. We ended up getting a few cocktails at an Indian restaurant- I ordered a Latin Lover, which was quite delicious. My companions, who are probably much better at holding alcohol than I am (I don't consider myself experienced enough to say that I can hold anything at all), asked the women at the table next to ours what they were drinking. "Zombies", they laughed, clinking glasses. So they ordered two Zombies, and instead of being served what the women had, they got odd orange concoctions. Apparently they still tasted good, but the women laughed hysterically and pointed at us with their lollipops. (I wonder how many cocktails it takes to make a few middle-aged women suck on lollipops and play practical jokes on a group of teenagers). Oh, the adventures of one Friday night in Germany...

Weather

Hello. How are you? Beautiful weather today, isn't it?

The weather's got to be pretty darn impressive in order to warrant a blog post. This morning I got up and the sky looked dangerously grey, but I hoped I could make it to school before it rained and then maybe it'd clear up before I had to bike back home.

8:15- math class has begun. I look outside. It's twice as dark and pouring.
8:30- the sun pokes through the clouds.
9:00- it's pouring again.
11:20- sunny and gorgeous! Maybe it'll dry off my bike seat.
1:00- pouring. funky-colored sky.
1:20- the sun is back out! Hooray! My bike isn't dry, but with a little sleeve action it was reduced to a bit of dampness.
1:25- ow. It starts hailing on me as I bike home. The temperature seems to have dropped about five degrees (Celcius) since I started biking. My hands are frozen to the handlebars and being pelted by little hailstones.
1:50- full-out sunny. No worries. All this storming must be over.
2:00- walking back from the mailbox from sending a couple letters. It starts hailing again, harder than before. Ow. I run fast.
2:30- sunny. A 30-second rainbow shows up.
4:00- skies are dark, it's pouring.
5:00- host parents come home, it's sunny. They decide to go grocery shopping.
5:15- never mind. It started pour-hailing again.
7:00- we made dinner with what we had, and ate a lovely meal. Outside it is gorgeous and sunny out.

Phew. Germany sure likes to exhaust its full range of weather options.

It smells like the first spring rain. Outside my window I can see small pink blossoms falling from the tree like a spring snowstorm. And it's warm enough to wear a t-shirt outside. I love spring. It's the time of birth and regrowth. My fellow Amis and I are trying feebly to "regrow" our previous in-shape pre-Germany bodies... I did go running yesterday! Except then Daniela hinted that it probably wasn't the best idea as the air is full of volcanic ash spat over from Iceland- I was wondering why my lungs were hurting. Gee, I guess I'll just have to stay inside and study for the SATs instead. I actually took a practice test today, even though I'm technically supposed to be studying for the German SATs... but who cares about technicalities anyway. My excitement levels are growing for various trips and plans in the future... these are going to be a fabulous few months!!

Happy April!

Wahoo! The month of Easter, spring, and pranksters. I successfully convinced my mother that I'd spontaneously decided to pierce my nose. From what I hear she had a minor freakout until Olivia reminded her it was the first of April. Whew. It's been quite lovely weather here for the last few days, although I've heard New England has got crazy flooding going on. On Saturday we hung out a lot outside, planting pumpkin seeds, fixing the little bridge on the path to the front door, cleaning up the yard, etc. Clara and I biked down to the ice cream shop and picked up some delicacies to go, which were wrapped up neatly and put in the back basket of Clara's bike on the way home. It was quite delicious. Easter was quite fun as well- rather similar to American celebrations. Egg-dyeing, egg-finding, big breakfast, etc. We also went to a big bonfire downtown that was supposed to burn the evil ghosts- not sure what this has to do with Easter as a holiday, but it's an annual tradition. Then at about 7 p.m. we headed to Potsdamer Platz via train to see Dirty Dancing live on stage! It was pretty fabulous. The singing was Broadway-good: not Broadway-amazing, but Broadway-acceptable. The dancing, though, was a whole different story. THAT was Broaway-amazing. Times ten. Happy Easter!!

The Flatterers

Today I was reading through messages from "interested" colleges on a college website... you know, the kind where you put in your GPA, SAT scores, and maybe an intended major or two and colleges from all over the country start selling themselves at your feet. After the PSAT as a sophomore, I admit I was rather flattered- but at this point it's just dull- I hit the delete button for about 90 percent of the messages. However, today I hit the "yes, fine, send me your massive amounts of emails" button even though I have no intention of looking further into the school. My reason? This college had a major in Turf and Turfgrass Management. So if chimney sweeping doesn't work out, I know what my follow-up career choice will be.

Pancakes

I consider pancakes to be a Sunday-morning staple at home. Or at least every other Sunday. For those of you who feel the same, or have any sort of pancake fetish, here is your German pancake education.

IN BERLIN:
A Pfannkuchen (literal translation "pancake") resembles a jelly donut. Quite delicious, in my personal opinion. You can find them in just about every bakery.


An Eierkuchen, however, more closely resembles a crepe. My aunt makes them at home but calls them German pancakes. They're not a very large part of German meals, but they do show up occasionally. They're usually eaten with jam or nutella and powdered sugar.



IN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY:
If you want to find a Pfannkuchen, you're going to have to ask for a Berliner. If you ask for a Pfannkuchen, you're going to end up holding an Eierkuchen. Confusing much? If you ask for a Berliner in Berlin, people will just think you're from outside of the city. If you want an American pancake, you're going to have to make 'em yourself- nobody's got a clue what they are.

Socks: They ain't just for your feet.

People in Germany have socks for every little piece of technology they've got. Cell phones, cameras, iPods. Some people have them for their books. I get German Stares when I pull out my cell phone and it's sockless.

Grades

Today my classmates recieved their MSA grades. I'm sure I've already touched on the grading system but now I've got a better understanding and have formulated this handy-dandy table for y'all. (Note that some of these reactions are based off of MSA responses, which are more dramatic than others as this test is so important.)

1: WOW! AWESOME! I'M AMAZING! High fives all around.
2: *Sob* But I should have gotten a one!
3: Are you SURE this is what I deserve? Okay, fine, I'll accept it. But don't expect me to smile.
4: My mum's going to kill me.
5: I bombed big-time. I'll just fake the parental signature on this one.
6: I fail at life.

It's funny, I almost think people react better when they get a 3 than a 2 because when people get 2s they get really defensive and try to talk the teacher into giving them a 1. With a three, they just deal.

The German Stare

I am going to introduce y'all to a new concept. The German Stare is often interpreted as a reaction to you being a foreigner. At least I thought so- I couldn't speak German, I might have worn clothing that shouted "American" though I didn't know it, and I didn't behave like a true German. However, I can at this point pass for a German in brief conversations, and I dress subtly enough that no one suspects I'm a foreigner until I open my mouth too far. The German Stare is simply a part of German culture. It's not as if we don't stare in America- I've certainly done my fair share of staring- but we tend to look away quickly and pretend we were doing something else if the person we're staring at looks our way. We hide the fact that we're watching, we look out of the corners of our eyes, watch people from behind our magazines or in window reflections. In Germany, if you are at all interesting, people will stare. They will stare directly, look you up and down, and even make eye contact with you if you look at them. Sometimes they'll twist an opinion into their facial expression- of humor, contempt, or distaste. They don't hide it. In some ways it's good- you don't have to wonder if the person likes you or not, as you do in America when people hide behind a fake polite mask. If someone thinks you're dumb or dressed funny, you'll know.

It was just one of those days...

You know the kind. The days where everything just falls into place and feels so right. I slept in until 9 and then did a bit more college research. I went to Bikram Yoga dressed in my red Converse and my favorite blue dress that Dad bought me in New Hampshire, and that's it. (Okay I had socks and underwear on too.) It was so deliciously warm and sunny out. It's supposed to drop about 15 degrees and pour this weekend, but I'm thoroughly enjoying the sun while it's here. I'm feelin' good.