SNOW.

I've been back for six months now, and it still shocks me to remember how long it's been and how long I've been away... I'm starting to forget things. I haven't forgotten the German winter, though, and I truly don't miss it. These are the three adjectives that describe a German winter.
1) COLD.
2) Icy.
3) Dark.
Okay, so it's still cold and icy and dark, but it's not COLD (except sometimes) and we have well over two feet of snow on the ground, and it's not getting dark until 5:30 (whoa!). Plus we're expecting an almost-blizzard for the next 48 hours involving ice pellets, heavy snow and 18-24 inches of accumulation. For the season, we've already had 4 snow days and 2 two-hour delays, and it's not even February. My guess is that we'll have another two snow days this week alone. This is getting ridiculous. But hey, I'm not complaining... last year I had to bike to school. Actually last year I had to get up at 6:15 and walk down to sweep chimneys. I suppose this is somewhat of an improvement... although I really am not a fan of my schedule at the moment (AP Biology, AP US History, Honors Precalculus, and a class at Smith) just homework-wise. Although we did just have a massive unit test in Bio so I'm starting fresh in all my classes. That will be nice, I think. And the next two days of snow and (hopefully) no school will help me recuperate from today's hard schedule of... 45 minute classes. (The final on Thursday was pushed to this morning due to the delay... so we had a 2-hour test and jumped right into our semester 2 classes of 45 minutes each. Lame.)

Enjoy the snow! (And ice pellets...?)

Going home.

In less than 24 hours, I'll be on a train out of here. I found my passport (in a small pocket of my backpack- I thought it was so smart to put it there until I forgot) and my train ticket (in my old journal- I was still using it often when I put the ticket and papers in it, and then switched journals and forgot about it). So, all panic aside, I still have to manage to fit everything... my overstuffed duffel bag weighs in at 19,5 kilos, so I'm good on that (max weight is 23) and my backpack can go up to 20 but I've only got 10 because I'm really bad at squishing things. I have a small cardboard box filled with random stuff- notebooks, american money, pictures, cds... and I have to find a place for it all or send YET ANOTHER package home. I'm really hoping I don't have to do that. I have faith in my packing skills. I think. I hope.

Other than packing, it's really weird to be going back... to be leaving... VERY weird. I can't really even describe how I feel. I'm leaving the people who I've lived with for a year, and going back to people I've lived with for 16 years but haven't seen in such a long time. Who knows when I'll see my German family again, who knows when I'll get a chance to come back here. It makes me feel empty inside when I think about it, so instead I focus on packing and everything is well.

Winding down...

In sixteen days I'll be on a plane. Out of Deutschland. For who knows how long.

I'm not particularly sad. I'm also not particularly happy. I'm so excited to see my friends and family again, but to know that this year is coming to an end and I will never be able to live the same way again is very strange. I'm already packing all my stuff because my host brother comes home from his AFS year in Tennessee in a few days, and I'm in his room. I'm planning to have all my stuff packed by Friday so I can move into my older host sister's room- she actually comes back home on the day I leave, so the timing works out perfectly. But thinking about goodbyes is so hard, because I don't know what to do- these people have taken me into their house for ten months, and now I'm packing my bags and leave, and it could be many years before I return. Even if I do, it'll all be different. I'll be older, they'll be older, and we'll have lived apart for a long time. I won't be a part of the household anymore. And that is just odd to consider.

Other things:
-today is the first day since End-of-Stay Camp (June 9-13) that I haven't needed a sweatshirt to go outside. Hello? It's summer! Where's the summer weather?
-next Monday my class is heading off to Holland for a 4-night Klassenfahrt, or class trip. We'll be spending a day in Amsterdam, and I'm quite excited.
-I got next year's class schedule- future exchange students, if you're doing your year as a junior, watch out. Your senior year is going to be KILLER. (Okay, well, it is in my case.)

Okay, gotta go pack now... Daniela bought me two bier steins, which was very nice of course, but how on earth am I supposed to pack them? Sheesh...

Juni und Jammern

"And what is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days; Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune, And over it softly her warm ear lays." -James Russell Lowell

Well, apparently Mr. Lowell didn't spend much time in Berlin in June... it's the first day of June and barely scraping over 50°, and it's poured every day for a week. I keep forgetting it's already spring because it's so darn chilly, and then I remember that SUMMER is in TWENTY DAYS. Now that's exciting.

We also got our travel information from AFS Germany... flying out of Frankfurt-am-Main at 12:20 on the 9th of July! I think the three Berlin Americans and I are taking the train on the 8th so we don't have to get up at 2 a.m. the next day. I'm pretty darn pumped, myself. I'll miss Germany, but I'm quite excited to get on with the next chapter of my life (aka summertime.)

Also, as for the title, "Juni" is German for June and "jammern" means to complain or lament. Which I've been doing a lot of lately- about 99% being aimed at the weather. I think we're supposed to see a few minutes of sun this weekend, though. So I'm hopeful that I can stop jammering soon.

a good quote

"To succeed in life, you need 3 things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone." -Reba McEntire